Victoria County is
NOT
a City
I am NOT a city
I have silos, not skyscrapers
I have fields, lakes and forest not "green spaces"
I have fresh air, not smog and pollution
I have villages, not suburbs
I don't have rush hours, traffic jams, overpopulation or a high crime rate
I don't need high taxes and an overpaid bureaucracy or a man named Kitchen to change my name
I am VICTORIA COUNTY!
On January 1, 2001, Victoria County was renamed the "City of Kawartha Lakes". Are we a city? Our readers don't think so. Here are the entries in our "why we're not a city" contest...
  1. We only lock our doors - by accident!
  2. We don't go to the Post Office just to collect our mail, we go to find out: who had a baby, who had surgery, what the next issue coming up at Council is, who's garbage was attacked by raccoons last week, and much, much more!
  3. Our 'instant news reports' come directly through our phone lines.
  4. We don't have 'stray dogs', we have a neighbour three miles away that left their porch door ajar again.
  5. Our stores are open six days a week and our churches one.
  6. Our politicians have their real names and phone numbers LISTED in the local phonebooks.
  7. No matter how hard we try, we just can't force ourselves to invite our friends to get out of the city for the weekend and come to the city to relax.
  8. When we smell wood burning, it's usually from someone's campfire - complete with hotdogs and marshmallows.
  9. Rush hour is obvious when there are more than two people in front of you in the checkout line.
  10. Our kids still wear Hallowe'en costumes that fit over a snowsuit.
  11. We owe more money on our snowmobiles that we do on our car.
  12. We clean our Bar-B-Q's regularly, so the grease won't attrack bears.
  13. When the snowblower gets stuck on the roof, all the neighbours pitch in to get it down.
  14. The municipality has a full public meeting when it must decide between buying a new zamboni or a service truck.
  15. When our friends come up for a swim, they actually go IN the water
  16. Our moose poop
  17. Gang violence limited to territorial beavers
  18. Light pollution due to those dang northern lights and stars.
  19. Mayor doesn't have as great a slogan as Lastman (NOOOOOOOOBODY!)
  20. Rush hour traffic composed of horse trailers, tractors, and Mennonites.
  21. Raccoons crawl through our trash if we're lucky, usually it's bears or elk.
  22. Not enough Starbucks!
  23. there's a bigger variety of fresh meat on the roadsides than in the deli.
  24. we don't have a WalMart but there are all kinds of great deals at the county dump.
  25. The number of 24-hour donut shops per capita (DSPC ratio) simply isn't high enough to warrant city status. I mean, don't all the urban planners use the DSPC ratio? People actually sleep at night here.
  26. We only have one Harry Kitchen
  27. Since when were cities made up of a population that is more than 50% rural/agricultural?
  28. When friends and family come to visit us in Bobcaygeon/Verulam we'll acquire the label of a nationally recognized laughing stock?
  29. Manditory attire when dressing for dinner consists of the ever stylish Haliburton Dinner Jacket: the flannel lumber jack shirt!

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